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Wednesday, December 16, 2009
sometime i really don't know why i born to this world??? is a good thing or a bad thing... what have i done wrong with my previous life which make me so worst in life... i don't care pple out there understand me or misunderstand me... i don't mind i don't have best friend or any thing... when i stop the 1o year of friendship with my friend... i was thinking... am i over react... hmmm... but sometime when telling them the truth... after listen they change completely... black face... not in the good mood... but i agree tat too when pple sae the truth to me if i don't like to listen i'll gif them black face too... but not many pple i'll tell them straight... sometime thing have already pass about 1 yr... they still bring it up to mention... wat for... and now living with my own family... i like living in the prison... i was told wat they told me to... in the end still get scolded... last night i was very very tired... went to bed at 10 plus 11 at night... sis call in the middle of the night but i didn't pick up the call... she call home and she ask my mom to wake me up... but i don't remember i wake up... when just now my malaysia supplier came and go and check my email den realise the sample on the chair need to give them... i call them can U turn back they sae cannot... but heng i still have another delivery man... he will be out later to help me delivery my sample to malaysia... when i call them they sae they wake me up and they sae i told them okok... but i don't remember anything... hey~~~ pple out there... can wait for me to awake and tell me thing or not... and i'm asleep and you tell me... do you think for a person who sleep will take note wat you toking about ma?? think... of course not... at least in the morning tell the person wat happen last night... but now instead of solving but is scolding... kaoz... hey... how can you all do thing to me... i really want to go out and work or study althought my result not very good... do you know what i want or wat i want to do??? i want to contine to study... and i noe you need pple to help you in your company... i think of you all 1st den me ok... i always think of you all but who has think of me??? i follow your order to work... in the end wat i get back... i not good in talking... don't make me talk... i rather die than talking... i feeling faint quite alot of time... i saw shadows saw all drawer, TV, sofa bed bloating in the air... told everyone in the house... who bothers?? no one... just now i so angry untill i'm cry out... my sis told me don't cry out she don't like don't make other think that you act for them to see... tat make me more hurt... feeling very bad... all pple around me are standing surround my 2 sister there helping them... and me... i'm the extras... sometime being the last kid is not the good thing... i very xian mu pple can go fly around alone... Brave... what about me... unless going out in a big group... but i don't like to go out in a big group... i being left out alone... why must i born out... who can erase my pain in my heart... or varnish in the air~~~ tired of living... want to leave this entire world... want to leave the place eagerly...